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The Bible tells the story of an evil ruler, Pharaoh, whose line of predecessors had enslaved the Children of Israel for 400 years. Their oppression had been great, but God raised up a leader, Moses, to lead His people to freedom. The narcissistic Pharaoh did not easily let the Children of Israel free without major opposition. The narcissist is the same way. Narcissists do not want to let you be free from their “Egypt” of bondage. Nevertheless, just as God free the Children of Egypt from Pharaoh, He will set you free from your narcissistic oppressor if you turn the matter over to Him. Here are some things to look out for with the “Pharaoh” in your life.

1.)    Pharaoh was the king over the land of Egypt. He was in authority and abused it by enslaving the Children of Israel for 400 years. Exodus 1:8

a.)    Narcissists love to be in power. They will misuse their place of authority over you in order to maintain control and instill fear in you so that you will not realize that you can be free from their abuse. If the narcissist’s victim was ever to open their eyes and see that he/she does not have to take any more abuse from the narcissist, the narc would then feel threatened and powerless. Therefore, they may tighten the reigns of control over you in to keep you from breaking free.

2.)    Pharaoh felt threatened by the Children of Israel growing in numbers. He felt that he may one day lose control over them. Exodus 1:9

a.)    Narcissist feel threatened when they think that they are going to lose control over their victims. Their victims have been their sense of narcissistic supply. This means that they lose the source that has given rise to their ego, feelings of superiority, dominance, subservience, conquests, and being feared.

3.)    Due to Pharaoh’s insecurities, he felt that he must be even harsher on the Children of Israel to maintain control. Exodus 1:10

a.)    Narcissist never want to lose control over their victims. They will do whatever they can to keep their victims docile. They will threaten, name-call, isolate them from friends and family, guilt-trip them, use sabotage, run a smear campaign, and never give any sense of approval or compliments for the victims’ accomplishments in life.

4.)    Pharaoh used his slave masters to increase the oppression of the Children of Israel. Exodus 1:11-14

a.)    Narcissists will use their flying monkeys to suppress their victims and keep them under their web of control. The flying monkeys may be the ones who try to talk you into staying in an unhealthy relationship with the narcissist, spread rumors and lies about you to other people to distort your image, carry information you say back to the narcissists, join in with the abuse of the narcissist to deflect the narcissist’s wrath away from them, and will defend the narcissist’s behavior at all cost.

5.)    Pharaoh wanted to eliminate any threats to his kingdom, so he ordered the midwives to kill all male Hebrew boys at birth. Exodus 1:15-17

a.)    Narcissists do not care about the welfare of their victims. Anything that they perceive as a threat to their image, they will try to eradicate. They are only concerned with how they are viewed by others without any regard to the abuse that they do to their victims. They would rather destroy their victim if they cannot control them. They do not have empathy for their victims and will do what they can to ruin any relationship that their victims may have with others. They are vindictive and vengeful. They will use methods of intimidation to shutdown any opposition that the victim may display. They are ruthless to say the least.

6.)    Pharaoh was unable to get everyone to do as he commanded. The midwives feared God and did not obey him. Therefore, he had others to carry out his genocide of the male infant boys. Exodus 1:18-22

a.)    Narcissists will get upset if others do not fall for their façade. They will consider anyone who is on the side of the victim as being their sworn enemy. Their goal is to recruit others as flying monkeys to side with them and do their bidding. Narcissists will talk viciously about any friends that the victim may have who will love, admire and support the victim in an attempt to isolate the victim from them. Narcissists aim to have their victims feel insecure, doubtful, self-loathing, irrelevant, timid, and to doubt their reality.

7.)    Pharaoh distorted the minds of the Children of Israel in such a way that when Moses tried to help one of them, he rejected him and pointed out Moses’ wrong and shortcomings instead. Exodus 2:11-14

a.)    Moses indeed should not have killed anyone, but the matter at hand is that narcissists will often times have their victims so brainwashed and fearful that when help is offered, they will sometimes refuse. The victim will have trauma bonded with their abuser (Stockholm Syndrome) where the victim will even defend the actions of their abuser. They will begin to believe that the abuse is normal and that the abuser really does love them despite the abuse that is being rendered. They do not know how to distinguish love from abuse. Therefore, they see anyone who is there to help them as an enemy instead of a friend.

8.)    Pharaoh refused to be humble and free the Children of Israel. Exodus 5:1-3

a.)    Narcissists do not feel the need to answer to anyone. They are very prideful and if approached regarding their bad behavior, they will get angry, act as if they are the victims, deflect their abuse onto the victim, and even attempt to charm the one who is there to mediate the situation. Narcissists are all about grandiosity, entitlement, and have an inflated ego that will not appreciated being deflated. The do not ever feel the need to apologize or admit to their wrongs. They will go through life knowing that they have hurt someone and will never feel compassion, remorse or empathy for the person they have harmed. They will even rewrite the course of events that took place in order to gaslight their victims into doubting their realities.

9.)    Pharaoh took out his anger against Moses on the Children of Israel by making their labor even harder. Exodus 5:6-11

a.)    The narcissist is very vindictive and will display narcissistic rage (outbursts of anger, violence, coldness, silent treatment, temper tantrums and be verbally abusive) when they feel as if they have received a narcissistic injury (a perceived threat to the narcissist’s ego, image, and self-esteem). In Pharaoh’s case, he was unable to take his anger out on Moses directly, so he used the Children of Israel as his scapegoat to compensate for his narcissistic injury.

10.)  Pharaoh pretended to give in multiple times whenever God sent a plague to  Egypt only to go back on his word by refusing to let the Children of Israel go.  Exodus 7:14 – Exodus 10.

a.)    Narcissists will act as if they are going to change when they feel that they are in danger of losing grip of their victim. Unfortunately, the change in most cases is not real and should the victim decide to be lured back into the narcissist’s web of deception, the victim will soon find out that it was only a façade and the mask of change that the narcissist displayed was simply that – only a mask. Narcissists, apart from God, will not change. They will never truly change what they will not admit to. Your chances of teaching a dog not to bark far outweigh the chances of a narcissist changing his/her ways.

11.)  Pharaoh only let the Children of Israel leave Egypt when tragedy struck his home. Exodus 12:29-33

a.)    Pharaoh’s son died as part of the plague God brought against Egypt. In Pharaoh’s grief, he finally waved the white flag and allowed for the Children of Israel to leave. Narcissists never want to relinquish control over their victims. It is only when the victim become bold enough to stand up for themselves and stop the abuse by setting boundaries and/or going moderate to no contact will the victim be able to free themselves from their narcissist’s abuse. Narcissists do not respect their victims, so the victim has to place value on him/herself by leaving the relationship if needed in order to gain independence away from their abuser.

12.)  Pharaoh and his army chased after the Children of Israel when he realized that he had lost his free labor. Exodus 14:23

a.)    Pharaoh did not allow common sense to keep him from doing something foolish by pursuing the Children of Israel into the Red Sea where he met his demise. Narcissists do not want to let go of their narcissistic supply. Once the victim has become free and moved from being a victim to a victor, the narcissist will attempt to love-bomb their target in an effort to lure them back to their manipulative web of control. The target must be careful not to fall for the weightless words of the narcissist that often have not substance. The narcissist will do unending acts of kindness to fool his/her target into thinking that they have possibly changed, but as a chameleon knows how to blend in with its environment, so does the narcissist just long enough to reel their target in like a fish and once on the hook, it is harder to get away.